she woke up with a sticky ear
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
