Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
