he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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