is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've blown a few things in my day
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
