I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
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Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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