They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
