i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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