Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
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Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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