Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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