I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
