Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
