It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
