He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
