he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
