he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
