just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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