8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
