help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
