jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
