make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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