You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This girl is more easily done than said...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
