He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
