maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Randomize
