are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
