East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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