He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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