Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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