oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
