Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
