I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
