just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
