I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
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i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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