never play flip cup with pint glasses
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
