OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
