guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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