it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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