idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
