i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
