TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
