just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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