I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
