Do you still have your period?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
