Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
me + whiskey = a bad person
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
