Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My hand turned me down
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
