I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
