So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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