CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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