Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
