My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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