I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
