Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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