Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
