I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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