I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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