he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
