I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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