Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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