Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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