Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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