so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
