i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
