im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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