he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
