If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My friends, they love my intelligence
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
