i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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