I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
