Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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