Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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