sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
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Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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